First let's get the easy stuff out of the way. My name is Henry
Herman Laxen. I am currently 67 years old. My exact location
See the Torre Onix in the center of the map, I'm on the 23rd
floor, facing south.
Should you dispatch an assassin for me, please shoot me in the
heart, not the head, as I hope to return in a few hundred
don't use one of your new and fancy hyper sonic missiles, I'm just
not worth it and you would hurt many of my friends.
My intent for this page is help you get out of the pickle you find yourself in.
Wouldn't you rather be remembered as
Putin the Great
Vlad the Terrible?
You are two years
older than me, and you already have more wealth than you could
possible spend in one hundred lifetimes. When is enough,
enough? Now is the time to cement your legacy for all future time.
I know you are having some trouble with Ukraine at the moment, but
you can still turn a lemon into lemonade. It may taste sour for
a little while, but I promise you if you take my advice you will
be remembered as a hero and a statesman. Before I
tell you how to pull this off, I would like to remind you of a
- NATO is only there because other countries
afraid of you.
Unless another Hitler or
Napoleon comes along, none of the NATO countries have any
territorial ambitions. In other words, no one is going to
attack you. Stop worrying.
- Between you, the US, and China, you have enough nuclear
weapons to basically bring
all life on earth,
to an end.
- Russia is already the largest country on the planet. Do you
really need more
Here is what you need to do.
Stop the war in Ukraine immediately,
full stop. Blame some underling who mistakenly told you there
were Nazis in Ukraine. Tell the world your troops never found
any, you realized your mistake, and acted accordingly. In the
eyes of the world, anyone who publicly admits their mistake
only enhances their standing, they never diminish it.
- Tell the world how close it came to annihilation. Tell them
that your generals put you under tremendous pressure to unleash your
nuclear arsenal, but that you bravely resisted the pressure and
kept the world intact.
Now this is the big one.
Use this moment to
reduce the number of nuclear weapons on the planet. I am not
naive enough to ask that these weapons be eliminated, since that
is likely to be a project for a future generation, but I think
you have a unique opportunity to be known as
the man who ended the threat of global destruction.
- A 100 kiloton blast over New York City will kill over half a
million people. The same sized bomb will kill over a million
people if detonated in Moscow, and 1.2 million over Beijing.
Isn't that enough deterrence? Wouldn't that give any future
leader of the three great countries of the world pause?
- How do we get there? It doesn't have to be that
complicated. Every nuclear nation gets to keep ten nuclear
weapons each no larger than 100 kilotons. That gives each
country the ability to kill over ten million people in another
country. That should be enough death and destruction to
prevent any sane future leader from getting too frisky, but
not enough to end civilization or mankind.
That is really all I have. Of course there are a lot of details
to work out, but you are probably the only man in the world who
could pull this off. It is really up to you. Will you be a
Hero or Zero?
Quote of the day:
The rest is silence.
Send questions, comments, misc personal abuse
If you think this might be helpful, please post a link to
in your twitter feed,
facebook page, tiktok ... wherever. If it goes viral, he just
might notice it.